The Takeover
by C.M. Oliver is eastwoodgirl
Summary: A fire-exit escape, world domination, Darren Criss swinging a baseball bat, Chris Colfer as the damsel in distress, a sea of lime slushy -all in one action-packed, suspense-filled story! Oh, and don't forget the airplane! CRISSCOLFER


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**THE TAKEOVER**

**By C.M. Oliver**

**©2013**

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**Warnings:** Language, violence, retribution, major conspiracy, anarchy, mild slash. Inserts. Some HP references. Twisted, morbid, dark humor. Don't take it seriously, please.

**Disclaimer: **Glee: Not mine. This is inspired by a status update from **Klaine Fanfics **on Facebook. I'm just taking it out for a spin. Thanks **Grasshopper**. This is pure fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, places or events is purely employed in a make-believe manner and does not mean to offend in any way.

**Author's Notes: ** What more can RIB do before Klainers turn their backs on the show completely? CUT OUT THE KLAINE MAKEOUT SCENE, that's what! Don't they dare do it! But just in case, this is a what-if fic… (insert evil laugh). Kidding. For those of you who have read and enjoyed **GLEE 4X16: KLAINE**, you may like this crack too. I hope. –C.

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"Chris! Babe, wake up –something's happening!" A sleepy-eyed, bushy-haired Darren Criss whispered loudly as he firmly shook the shoulders of his still sleeping partner. It was almost midnight and the two of them were in the bedroom of their mid-rise LA apartment. Chris was on his side, his back towards the older man, tightly clutching the white satin sheets covering his half-naked body.

"Honey, go back to sleep. Whatever it is, it's just a dream. Take two aspirins and call Chuck in the morning or something." The younger man murmured, refusing to open his blue-green peepers.

Darren shook Chris harder.

"Chris, my phone won't stop beeping. I'm getting messages every half-second. Something's up, I can feel it." Darren's hazel eyes were now properly awake, sheets still twisted around his boxer-clad form though, as he tried to reach for his I phone. "Where's your phone? Check it if you don't believe me –"

"Oh –FINE!" Chris threw the sheets off of himself and gave his lover a challenging look before reaching for his own cellphone.

**INBOX FULL. Delete to receive incoming messages.**

"What the heck –" A frown crossed Chris' face as he opened the last few messages that had managed to come in:

**(1)From: Twitter**

**A direct message from: Klaine4ever94**

**Get out of there! Use the backdoor and into the white Escalade.**

**(2)From: Twitter**

**A direct message from TheKlainerGleek**

**Fox falls tonight. We will secure you and DarrenCriss. ASAP.**

"Oh my f- What is this?" Chris gasped as he scrolled all the way down to the last message. "Dare –are you seeing this?"

Darren however, was busy checking his own phone out. A few seconds later though, his determined eyes met his boyfriend's bewildered ones.

"They had it cut out," the curly-haired brunette said grimly, his expression darkening rapidly. He then threw the sheets off of him angrily before gracefully sliding off the king-sized bed dominating the middle of their room and stomping all the way towards the nearby closet. "They fucking removed it! I warned them not to! I told them that this would happen!" Darren fumed as he hastily pulled on a pair of dark jeans and a blue and white striped collared shirt. Chris could only stare in awe at his boyfriend's striking features. Darren Criss was really sexy as hell when he got really upset. But somehow, Chris knew that it would be a futile attempt to distract the older ma from whatever was getting him royally pissed off at the moment. He just resigned to following the said pissed-off Mr. Criss in front of their shared dresser.

"Dare –what's going on?"

Darren finished putting on his clothes before turning to face Chris. His expression was as grim as it could be. With a heavy sigh, he shoved his phone to Chris' idle hands. Azure eyes met the glow of the LCD screen:

**(12)From: Twitter**

**A direct message from C. **

**THEY FREAKING CUT THE KLAINE MAKEOUT SCENE. Fandom had had enough. We're storming FOX HQ. RYAN et. Al. will go down.**

"Oh –MY –GOD." Chris gasped, almost dropping the phone. He searched for confirmation in his boyfriend's eyes. Darren answered by tossing him a pair of faded jeans and an emerald green shirt. Chris wordlessly took them and put them on as he tried to reel in from the shock of it all. Darren was busy gelling his wild nest of curls when Chris found his voice again.

"Is this really happening? Dare –I –the Klainers –maybe we should –"

The hazel-eyed man sensed the hesitance and discomfort in his lover's voice. He paused in his ministrations and took the pale, shaky hands in his as he stared at those lovely sapphire eyes.

"Babe, it will all be fine. This had to happen. We both know that Ryan and the guys had had it a long time coming." He then pulled the younger man into a comforting hug. "I warned them about cutting out that scene in the car and in the hotel room. I told them that Klainers don't do empty threats –but they didn't listen. It's nobody's fault but theirs."

Chris melted into his boyfriend's heated embrace. He might have been taller by a few inches, but he had always loved how well he fit into the contours of Darren's body.

"Is it too much to ask that nobody gets hurt? Dare –do they really need pitchforks to do it? Where do they get pitchforks these days anyway?"

A small smile crept up Darren's face despite everything

"As I've told you in that other fan fiction by this author, our fans, aside from being passionate and dedicated are pretty vengeful and thorough. And I can't exactly blame them. They've been beaten up left and right, down-trodden, discouraged –"

" Okay, I get it," Chris sighed heavily, pulling away from Darren's warmth. "So what's the plan?"

"We need to go to a secure location to wait it all out. Have you seen that message from klaine4ever94?"

"Something about an Escalade?" Chris confirmed. Darren nodded, stuffing the keys of their apartment into the pocket of his jeans.

"It will take us to a safe house –"

"But why do we need to hide? I mean, if this is a Klaine takeover –"

"The Klainers are one tight, bad-ass army of the most wonderful fans we could ever ask for Chris, but not everyone agrees with their advocacy to bring Kurt and Blaine back together. They are expecting retaliation –"

"The Anti-Klaine Movement?" Chris asked, his eyes widening slightly. "Are you seriously telling me that those guys are for real?"

Darren took one last look at their private space before grabbing a green nylon backpack that hung behind their bedroom door. From his vantage point, Chris could see a metal baseball bat sticking out of it. Darren slung the backpack across one shoulder before facing his boyfriend once more.

"A congregation of Blaina, Slaine/Blam, Kadam, Kandler, Elaine, Seblaine, Kurtofsky, Furt and even Anderberry shippers –Do you know how many of those guys are –"

"WHAT?" Chris paled. "Seriously?"

"They all want to Keep Kurt and Blaine apart, Chris." Darren said as he slipped on his cross-trainers. "They don't care how or who we end up with as long as it's not with each other –and Ryan, he supports them." The hazel-eyed man then grabbed a dark-gray nondescript hooded jacket. "You should really put some shoes on, babe."

"Ryan –but –why? Why is he so against Klaine?" I mean, I get that he's probably tired of all the ahte tweets… but supporting an anti-Klaine movement?" Chris mused out loud as he put on a pair of vintage Keds. Darren was now locking windows and pulling down blinds. The older man then tossed his boyfriend a similar hoodie to the one he himself was wearing and shrugged.

"Who knows what's going on in that man's mind? He's even more meddlesome and erratic than even Albus Dumbledore, and that's saying something."

Chris slipped on the hoodie and was now eyeing the backpack on Darren's shoulder.

"Should we bring more clothes? Food? How long will this siege last, you think?"

The curly-haired brunette patted the lad on his back with a small grin.

"I have vacuum-packed clothes here for us –I've always been prepared for emergencies like this since Season 4, Episode 4. As for food, C.M. Oliver tells me that the safe house is loaded. It should last us the week –"

"One week?" Surprise evident in the younger man's voice. "Isn't that too long?"

Darren took Chris' hand and led them both out of their unit.

"It's a world-wide takeover, it said in one of the messages… not sure how exactly that goes, but they say that we're lucky if everything settles down after one week."

"They're making it sound like zombie apocalypse or something… stacking rations? Safe Houses?" Chris quipped. The two were now trekking the fire exit stairwell at the back of their apartment building. Darren was still holding Chris' hand.

"Dare, what's the baseball bat for? Zombies?"

And before Darren could even acknowledge that hastily thrown question, a couple of figures wearing black ski masks and black bodysuits, jumped in front of the escaping couple. The hazel-eyed man stopped abruptly. Then, shielding Chris' body with his own, he pulled the heavy metal bat from his backpack and brandished it like a long sword. He glared at the two bemasked figures.

"Who are you?" Darren pointed the tip of the bat at one of them. "Who sent you?"

Without answering, the two mystery figures lunged at the older of the two actors –but said actor was too fast for them. A swing of the baseball bat landed on one attacker's head, as a cross-trainer-clad foot made its way to the other one's guts dead-center. The two attackers quickly folded up like portable card tables. With a smirk, Darren kicked the unconscious bodies off of the landing. "Amateurs." He then turned to a gaping Chris with a smile. "You were asking, babe?"

"But –who are those?" Chris asked as they passed by the out-cold attackers. Four more levels to go.

"Black-ski masks. The Anti-Klaine Movement. I wonder how they got past the guards posted outside."

"WHAT –they have costumes now?" Exclaimed Chris. "Let me guess, Klainers have armbands."

Darren smiled.

"Blue armbands for Klainers. CrissColfer fans wear Green." They have finally reached the fire exit. Darren carefully pushed it open, holding his bat high up in one hand, ready to pound on any oncoming party. Chris stayed close behind him. When 10 seconds passed without any disturbance, Darren swiftly took a peep from beyond the partly-opened door. With a soft sigh, he pronounced, "Clear." He then egged Chris to follow him out to the street. Chris however, held him back, his voice wavering a little as he whispered.

"You know I love you, right? And this whole thing has got to be the craziest idea I've ever heard, but I want you to know that whatever happens, I'm with you." He bit his lip. "I love you, Darren Criss."

Darren rewarded the tender naïveté with a soft smile and a hug.

"I know this is scary. To tell you frankly, not knowing everything is scary for me too. But we've got to learn to trust our instincts, Chris. And besides, we're in this together as you've said. From one crazy idea from our fans to another, you have me. I'll always keep you safe, babe." He then pulled slightly away to place a chaste kiss on the younger man's slightly parted lips. "And I love you too, Christopher Paul Colfer. Never forget that."

Chris felt all of his worries melt away with that kiss and those words assurance. He eagerly returned the kiss with a whisper.

"Come what may, it's all worth it."

Darren's smile widened.

"Glad you think that way. God knows we're worth more than a world-wide fandom takeover, a TV network siege and a pseudo zombie apocalypse –combined. Our fans apparently think so too that they'd be willing to organize a mob –"

"Of course we do," an amused voice from behind the two young actors made them jump, Darren quickly going for his bat. A young male redhead greeted them with a smile, "Hello."

Darren narrowed his eyes and pushed Chris behind him once more. "Who the hell are you? Who sent you?"

The redhead raised an eyebrow before answering.

"TheKlainerGleek at your service," he said, bowing before the couple. "The Cavalry sent me. I was informed that security in this station was breached by two assassins. Forgive my lateness." He then revealed a blue wristband adorning his left arm.

Darren lowered his weapon with a sigh, while Chris looked confused. "Cavalry?"

"Another term for Klainers," KlainerGleek explained. "Or more specifically, Klainers who were tasked to secure you two and get you to safety."

"What IS going on out there? We haven't had the time to see the news. I doubt there would be any about this. FOX would aim for a total news blackout." Darren asked. "And how did those two managed to enter our building?"

KlainerGleek frowned.

"It's chaos. The opposing faction had more firepower than we had originally anticipated. We had to result to violence, it was necessary. Those two thugs on the other hand were spies –but don't worry, we've already snuffed out the whole lot of them –the bitches."

"Violence?" Chris clarified as they all moved to board the waiting car. KlainerGleek took the driver seat while the other two got settled at the back. "Anything worse than pitchforks?"

KlainerGleek smirked at them from the rearview mirror.

"One word: Slushies."

Darren secured his own seatbelt before doing Chris'. The car's engine fired up.

"Let me guess, rock salt?"

KlainerGleek nodded.

"Mostly for the Seblainers –we really never got over those guys… the rest are just using regular lime-flavored slushies."

"So where are we headed?" Darren then asked.

"Ladybug's Lair. Can't tell you exactly where though just in case we are being watched or followed."

Darren raised an eyebrow before checking his phone's inbox. "Ladybug is supposed to be leading the siege at FOX HQ with RaspberryHairgel."

"Right-o." KlianerGleek confirmed as he beat a red light. They were cruising at an insane speed that made Chris wonder how on earth were there no officers flagging them down for over speeding. Darren was still looking at his messages.

"GlitzyNecktie's with the writers?"

"Yep." KlainerGleek made a hard turn to the right. "Keeping them comfy until everything settles down. Pavarotti is with her."

"Who's dealing with Ryan?" Chris asked, curious. KlainerGleek grinned evilly.

"Why, C, of course."

"C?" Darren clarified before shuddering. Chris on the other hand looked all the more confused.

"Who's C?"

Darren took up the task of answering his boyfriend.

"One of the CrissColfer shippers. She's twisted but rather brilliant otherwise. I've only met her once. She –well, let's just say that she does not like Ryan that much –that, and that her methods of vengeance are quite… uh, unconventional."

KlainerGleek Chuckeld from the driver seat.

"That's the nicest description of C. I've ever heard in my entire life." He shook his head. "C. makes Bellatrix Lestrange look like an amateur."

"So what happens now?" Chris had his arms crossed against his chest. "Okay, so this is Klaine Anarchy, we'll let the world know that they can no longer mess with Klainers… and then what?"

KlainerGleek stepped on the brakes all of a sudden. Had the three of them not been wearing their seatbelts, their faces would have already been plastered onto the windshield. A mischievous glint crept up the redhead's dark eyes.

"Today, we conquer TV land –tomorrow, THE WORLD!" A maniacal laugh escaped his lips as Chris and Darren exchanged puzzled looks. The older man took the liberty of speaking up.

"Uh, dude, KlainerGleek, um I'm not so sure I can still follow this time…"

KlainerGleek stopped laughing and rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, Darren, do you really need me to spell it all out for you? We will take over the whole fucking world! We'll get you guys declared as Kings and nobody can mess with Klainers ever again! You guys will get all the screen time –and that spin-off! We'll declare Martial Law! We'll conquer lands under your names! Total Klaine World Domination!"

TO say that Chris Colfer was speechless after that impassioned pronouncement would be an understatement; his lips moved feverishly but no sound came out of them. Darren Criss on the other hand looked like all the blood drained out of his face.

"What in the name – wait, that is not exactly what I had in mind when –"

Another ringing laughter from KlainerGleek ensued as the redhead stepped on the gas once more, whisking away two dumbfounded and seemingly frozen-stiff young actors off towards their secret destination.

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(At the FOX Headquarters)

A sea of lime green slushy was quickly thawing out, and within it, dozens of semi-frozen bodies clad in black were littered –some out cold, many other out for good.

A thousand-strong army of men and women predominantly clad in shades of green and blue however could be seen emerging from the building's main entrance- unfazed, unrelenting, seemingly unperturbed by the devastating carnage they had just endured. The sun was about to rise by the time they have completely vacated the building. Today, they have conquered TV. Tomorrow, the rest of the world awaits.

"Klaine –endgame!" A single booming voice emerged from the assembled group. Then, as one, the rest of them followed suit, their faces set in determination, fists raised up high in the cold morning air. The ensuing roar was deafening:

"KLAINE! ENDGAME!"

Meanwhile, over their heads, a chartered plane proclaimed the same sentiments as it went round and around the clear LA skies:

**KLAINE FOREVER –SKY'S THE LIMIT!**

And as the assembly of fierce fans made their way to their next target, the ground shook in both awe in fear. The once-stronghold of tyranny and oppression that stood behind them then crumbled down into ruins until it was level with the ground on which it once stood upon.

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FIN (but when is it ever?)

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**A/N: Please don't forget to leave feedback, here or over at Twitter heyitschesca or on Facebook at Eastwoodgirl. Peace –C.**


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